In 2012, I was charged with drug trafficking, and I’ve been in and out of jail every year since then except one for the same charge. I was struggling to make ends meet, and I’d get off drugs then fall back, like I was taking one step forward and three steps back.
At the end of last year I was miserable. No matter what I did, I couldn’t find joy in anything: drugs, relationships, my family. If I did, it was very short-lived. I’d thought about getting help before, but it never made a lot of sense to me. Saying, “I’m an addict,” over and over just felt like I was pushing myself down lower.
During one of my first meetings with Jon after joining Program Living, I was angry, struggling, and wondering why I joined the program when I could’ve just been released from jail.
I’d always heard “Give it to God,” but I never understood what it meant until that Saturday. I didn’t know if it would really take root, but I accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior that day.
2 Corinthians 5:17 says, “Anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!”
I’m a new person, a new creation, and I don’t have to be the same sinner anymore. I can focus on being a good person, a good dad, a member of society, instead of hiding from society.
I was baptized about a week ago. Being a Christian is not easy. Living in a house full of men is not easy. At the same time, I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my life. It doesn’t make any sense except that God’s doing it, and I thank him for that.
I want to thank my sister, my mom, and the staff at Hope House. They’ve all been very supportive and helpful to keep me on track. I’m really looking forward to being a dad to my children and establishing relationships that the person I used to be kept me from doing in the past.